The Jerk

Prompt: Write like a jerk about jerk-like stuff

Gosh, writing is so bad, especially if you use a pencil. I mean, the lead's always breaking, it gets dull, the eraser doesn't work... and then when you do get the d---ed thing to work, then you have to think of what to write about! As if it mattered. It's not like anyone's going to read it, those ----s, since they all think I'm a jerk and a -----. Probably it'll just get read by the teacher, have a check put on it, and get tossed into the trash. Then, of course, those idiot environmentalists will complain that it should go into the recycling, as if they had nothing better to do with their lives.

So anyways, this one teacher came up to me and said, "You have to write every day." And so I said, "No, you -------!" And then, of course, I got sent to the principal's office, and the stupid principal had to call my parents and explain, and I got in trouble, just because of that stupid ----.

Then there was this one time when the teacher starting ----ing about not being able to start a sentence with "and," so I replied, "And why should I care about some silly grammar rule? I can break all the grammar rules I want, and you ain't gonna do a thing about it!"

So anyways-- what?! Are you telling me to "shut up"?! Go away, you ----! I don't want to talk to you anyways.

[DISCLAIMER: This story is told from the perspective of an imaginary character (a "jerk"). The views expressed by this character are not the views of the author!]