Once there was a solar system. In this solar system there were eight planets and many asteroids, planetoids, comets, and other similar objects.
"Hi, Venus", said Mercury, as they passed each other.
"Hi, Mercury", said Venus. "How are you?"
"It's a bit hot here", said Mercury. "Heard any news about Earth?"
"Nope", said Venus, and he went on his way.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the system, Neptune and Pluto were nearing each other.
"Hi, Pluto", said Neptune.
Pluto glared.
"What's wrong?" asked Neptune.
"You know perfectly well what's wrong, planet."
"Still upset about that, are you?"
"Why me?! Why did they decide to kick me out of their group? Why not, say... Earth?"
"Why are you always hating Earth?" asked Neptune.
"Because he's weird. He never talks to anyone anymore, he still thinks he's the center of the universe, and if you look at him closely..." (Pluto lowered his voice to a whisper) "...he glows. It's unnatural."
"He's been under a lot of stress", said Neptune, "and all planets appear to glow when they're facing the sun. And how do you know he's still self-centered if he hasn't talked to you?"
Just then Uranus came by. "Hey, Pluto!" she said mockingly, "cleared your path of debris yet?"
"Shut up, fatty", said Pluto.
"Why you—" Uranus started to say, but Neptune interrupted.
"Hey—Uranus, stop taunting Pluto, and Pluto, there's no need for name-calling. So, anyway, about Earth?"
Pluto continued. "Yeah, the thing is, it's not just the side facing the sun—the side facing away also glows. It's like he's trying to overthrow the sun and take its position. Not to mention, rumor has it he's the one who got the sun to kick me out of the Order of the Planets."
"You're kidding!" said Neptune. "Earth was the one who got you in! Why do you think he would want to kick you out?"
"I don't know", said Pluto. "He's so secretive. Maybe we could ask Mars." He sent a comet to Mars inquiring whether he had any information.
The comet came back. "No", said the comet, "he hasn't heard from Earth, but he says that some sort of space fleas have jumped on him from Earth and are crawling around, trying to suck his blood."
"Tell him to try talking to Earth again", said Neptune.
"Will do", said the comet.
After the comet relayed his message, Mars said, "Come on, Earth, everyone wants to know what you're doing."
Earth opened his mouth to speak, and—
I'm sorry. I can't continue writing this story. A previously unknown fault has opened up in the southern hemisphere, sending earthquakes all over the world. Scientists say there is an extremely odd loud noise emitting from the fault. The news channel won't give me any more information until 10:00.