The Agnographer

A story that I wrote to use words I made for my Etymology class; definitions of these words are here.

"Have you seen this?" I asked.

"No, what is it?" asked Heteranthrop

"It's from the Antikinehelist Society of America."

"What's that?"

"It looks like they're against... nighttime? No, hmm... It looks like they want it to always be night in Asia, but always be daytime here."

"Huh." Heteroanthrop looked at the paper. "By the way, I'm making sandwiches. Want one?"

"No, unless it's round. I'm an orbivore"

"I could cut it if you'd like."

"Nah, I'll just get a pizza."

Suddenly the doorbell rang. Het went to get it.

"Woah! Look at this guy's shirt", said Het.

I went to the door and saw a person with an extremely polychromatic shirt.

"Woah! Too much erythroxanthochlorocyanochromy!"

"What, you have amblychromophilosis?" said the person. I looked up and saw for the first time that we was quite old, and seemed to be wheazing.

"Why are you wheazing?" I asked.

"Because I was working in a mine and got pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis."

"Wow!" I said. "Someone besides me used that asyntheonym. Oh, and aren't you a little old to be working?"

"Ze's in pain, and you're thinking about language? What floccinaucinihilipilification!" said Het.

"That's okay", said the old man. "And, yes, I'm old. I'm an ergoger."

"Speaking of language – what's an ergoger?"

"An old person who works. Erg means work; ger means old person. I also write agnographies on the side. Here, read one." Ze handed me a book entitled Unknown: An Agnography, written by Anonymous. I flipped through it.

"This is a whole bunch of I don't know's", I said.

"Well, what did you expect? Agnography means 'writing of not knowing'; which is exactly what I do for a living."

"You write books of I don't know's?"

"That's right."

"And you sell them?"

"Yeah. For money. Cold, hard, gred money." Ze showed me a dollar bill.

"Hold on –" I said. "That's counterfit! It's red, it should be green!"

"What? Ah, I'm colorblind. Should have known people would try to trick me like that. Oh, well, I have to go. See you later."

"Bye", I said, as ze walked off into the night.