Conversation with god

Prompt: Have a quick conversation with God or Satan

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G: "Hello."

C: "Who are you?"

G: "God, of course."

C: "But – but you can't be. I don't believe in you."

G: "Go to hell!"

C: "Why?"

G: "To give this to Satan"

C (takes object): "How do I get there?"

G: "It's easy. If you're driving, just MapQuest it."

C: "And if I'm going by bus?"

G: "Hold on" tap tap tap "Take bus 13 to 666th Ave., then transfer to bus Not In Service, take that to Hell Place. Walk a few blocks south and you should come to the gates."

C: "Okay."

G: "Oh, and remember to buy an eternity bus pass."

C: "Okay."

C knocks

S: "Come in."

C: "God sent me here to give you this."

S (takes object): "Thank you, just what I always wanted, a bomb to blow up the world."

C: "Wait, God gave you a weapon?"

S: "Yeah, of course! Ze and I are best friends!"

C: "Um... I find that a little disturbing."

S: "That's because we like to convince mortals —"

B: boom

S: no longer exists

C: "Um... okay..."

G: "Thanks. Now go home."