Fictional Valentines

Prompt: Write a series of fictional valentines

To my beloved evil robotess:

You are definitely the one for me. I can see it in your code. That 10011001 byte followed by the 01100110 byte is like a quiet river, calmly flooding its victims. How about a nice, long walk on the beach where we squish the helpless passers-by, like you always used to like to do?

Yours truly,

The evil he-robot


Dear evil he-robot:

Why certainly, I would love to! Oh, and don't forget your vapor ray; you wouldn't want to miss out on vaporizing some kites and sand castles


Dear robotess:

Of course I wouldn't forget that! Oh, and I have a surprise for you: I bought your favorite kind of batteries, imported all the way from Country 4c!

[Ended early due to author's lack of romanticness]