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This story contains puns.
Thou shalt start with 0
Cats are the highest species. Thou shalt have no other species before them.
Thou shalt feed thy cats, and pet them if they wish. Thou shalt not feed them food which they do not like or pet them if they would like to be left alone.
Respect the sabbaths and keep them holy. Thou shalt not do work on any of the six sabbaths
Thou shalt be idle.
Thou shalt correctly use the subjunctive. If a person does not use the subjunctive, thou shalt insist that ze do so. If the subjunctive were to disappear, it would be bad.
Thou shalt not be an adult.
Thou shalt reduce thy fractions, get radicals out of thy denominator, and prefer exact answers over decimals.
Thou shalt only use proper Unix-like systems. Thou shalt avoid Microsoft Windows.
Thou shalt use standard formats to exchange documents between computers. Thou shalt not send Microsoft Word or Excel files as attachments.
Thou shalt use hexadecimal.
Thou shalt not use characters 0x80-0x9f in Latin-1, except as control characters
Thou shalt use a person's preferred name.
Thou shalt honor thy children and thy children's wishes.